It’s impossible to watch the new Training Day pilot without comparing it to the 2011 movie that shares its name, or FX’s The Shield. Both of those older properties are in a different league as this steaming pile of mainstream garbage from CBS, and the similarities just make it all the worse.
Bill Paxton, in the driver’s seat as the crooked veteran detective, attempts to channel True Detective Mcconaughey but ends up parodying him instead. He monologues like he’s still the jackass marine from Aliens or the scummy car salesman in True Lies — there’s no gravitas any time he opens his mouth.
Paxton gets one good line, “Better to be judged by 12, than honored by 6,” and I swear to God, he smiles like he’s stroking an Emmy-sized erection. But at least he’s trying. Next to him, newcomer Justin Cornwell is an emotionless block of wood.
It’s hard to imagine that this tripe will run past its first season, but then again, I said the same thing about Shades of Blue.
Rating: 1 out of 5 dirty cops with hearts of gold